[<a href=”http://storify.com/phoenixhouse/valentine-s-day-drugchat” target=”_blank”>View the story “Valentine’s Day Twitter Chat: Our Top 10 Takeaways” on Storify</a>]<br /> <h1>Valentine’s Day Twitter Chat: Our Top 10 Takeaways</h1> <h2>On Valentine’s Day eve, our “Relationships and Recovery” chat with the Fix covered everything from sober dating to getting intimate without the “help” of drugs. Sparks were flying between our many participants, including authors, journalists, and treatment experts. Here’s what we learned:</h2> <p>Storified by Phoenix House &middot; Tue, Feb 21 2012 13:28:53</p> <div> <p><b>1. When dealing with a partner’s addiction, be compassionate, but take care of yourself first.</b></p> </div> <div>Q1 #drugchat encourage them to have their own support group. you are not it.Patty Powers </div> <div><b>2. Trust your instincts. &nbsp;If you’re worried about a partner’s drug use, there’s probably something to worry about.</b></div> <div>Q2: When someone’s life is careening out of control is when to worry. You can’t decide to worry based on # of drinks bc it varies #drugchatAnna David</div> <div><b>3.&nbsp;</b> <b>It’s challenging, but not impossible, for two partners to get sober together.</b> </div> <div>@Phoenixhouse Q3: I’m sure it can work, but it seems like two massive tectonic shifts to weather simultaneously. Like Jenga. #drugchatHunter Slaton</div> <div>Q3. Getting sober together sounds like an excellent way to break up. #drugchatSacha Z. Scoblic</div> <div>Q3: I’ve known a few couples who got sober @ the same time, but more who got sober separately. #drugchatDeni Carise</div> <div> <p><b>4. Loneliness on Valentine’s Day—or any holiday—can trigger relapse. Tip: plan ahead and remember that many people are single <i>and </i>happy.&nbsp;</b></p> </div> <div>Q5: the solution is to know that not all single people are &quot;coping w/loneliness.&quot; Many are happier than those in relationships! #drugchatAnna David</div> <div>@Phoenixhouse @annadavid Advice for the lonely singles- hang out with the happy ones! #drugchatDrug Abuse Helpline</div> <div>Q5: #drugchat planning ahead is the best way to get through any holiday #sober Make plans with other friends in recovery, watch out for HALTLauren E. Krause</div> <div> <p><b>5. Be honest with your kids about past drug use. &nbsp;Favorite new word = “Trans-PARENT-cy!”</b></p> </div> <div>Q6: If you’ve had the &quot;sex talk&quot; with your kids you can have the &quot;addiction runs in our family&quot; talk! In fact, you must! #drugchatCraig Sloane</div> <div>Tell the children! Trans-parent-cy. #drugchatSacha Z. Scoblic</div> <div>RT @phoenixhouse: If you struggled w/#addiction it’s important to let your kids know that they are at a higher risk. #drugchatSteve Pasierb</div> <div> <p><b>6. Recovery <i>does </i>change relationships—for the better.</b></p> </div> <div>Q8 Recovery means you are actually now present &amp; participating in these relationships. They can only get better. #drugchatPatty Powers </div> <div>@_TheFix If one of my relationships has suffered as a result of my recovery, I’m fairly certain that it wasn’t worth maintaining. #drugchatSam Lansky</div> <div>If you’re in #recovery, your REAL friends will do everything they can to support that. #drugchatPhoenix House</div> <div> <p><b>7. You’re just as likely to meet someone special at a bookstore as you are at a bar.</b></p> </div> <div>Dating places? The Spirituality Section at Barnes and Noble worked wonders for a couple of friends. #drugchatMaer Roshan</div> <div>Q9: Bars aren’t the only places to meet &quot;interesting&quot; people. #drugchatGuinevere</div> <div>@Phoenixhouse I don’t think of sober hot spots so much as a whole world opening up. You can meet people anywhere. &amp; remember them! #drugchatAnna David</div> <div> <p><b>8. Asking someone out when you’ve always relied on drugs for “courage” can be nerve-wracking. Tip: Take a deep breath—and remember, it’s just a question!</b></p> </div> <div>@_TheFix Q10: It’s like doing a backflip on a trampoline. Just zone in and before you know it, your feet are over your head. #drugchatHunter Slaton</div> <div>@_TheFix Q10: It took far more courage to get sober than it does to ask ANYONE out. Even Angelina Jolie. #drugchatAnna David</div> <div> <p><b>9. “Getting busy” is far more satisfying when both partners are sober.&nbsp;</b></p> </div> <div>Q11: omg. Sober sex is so much better than wasted sex. Drugs numbed EVERYTHING out. If you know what I mean. #drugchatGuinevere</div> <div>Q11: Newly sober people need to learn how to be intimate again; it seems difficult but folks do it all the time. #drugchatDeni Carise</div> <div>Except in rare cases, sex you can remember is better than sex you can’t. #drugchatAnna David</div> <div><b>10. Two underrated sources of fun = recovery &amp; Twitter chats.</b></div> <div>Super fun #drugchat. If you’d ever told me I’d find a Twitter chat fun, I would have thought you were crazy. Ditto: being soberAnna David</div> <div>Awesome chat to all. Thanks to @_TheFix and @Phoenixhouse for putting it on! #drugchat Happy Valentine’s Day!Hickory Wind Ranch</div>
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