Advice for Parents
More than half of all American kids will try drugs at least once between first and 12th grade, but many will choose not to experiment. Can you influence your child’s decision? Here are some tips to help you steer your child in the right direction:
- Recognize that this is your job. Don’t leave drug prevention to the school. Although schools have a responsibility for drug education, parents have the greatest influence on kids, and no one is better able to help them grow up drug-free.
- Start early. Kids are growing up faster, and the dangers that once arose as kids reached their teens are creeping in at an earlier age. Children as young as 10 are being introduced to drugs. Help your children form attitudes toward drugs early. If they know drugs are bad long before they’re offered any, it will be easier for them to say no when that time comes.
- Keep it simple. Be firm and clear about what you believe and the behavior you expect from your kids. We see a lot of kids at Phoenix House with severe drug problems who started out by trying alcohol or marijuana at a party, thinking, “How could it hurt me?”
- Encourage personal responsibility. Self-reliance begins when kids take on some degree of responsibility — taking care of themselves, their toys and their clothing. Taking responsibility also firms up their sense of themselves and makes it easier for them to make independent choices about drug use.
- Be a good role model. No matter what you tell children, behavior speaks volumes. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, and it’s likely they will, too. At Phoenix House, one of the most effective parts of treatment for recovering drug abusers is simply watching and learning from people who are living sober, healthy lives.
- Know how to handle your own substance abuse history. While it may be tempting, avoid talking about your own experimentation with alcohol or drugs. Your child may take this as evidence that such behavior is acceptable or harmless. However, if you are in recovery yourself, you may want to share your experience and describe how you were able to overcome addiction.
- Reason with your kids. As your children grow up, rules won’t be enough. They need reasons as well. Be prepared to talk with your children about the use of alcohol, tobacco and drugs — and to talk with them, not just to them. Bring to these conversations lots of patience and a good set of facts about the risks, lifetime penalties and health consequences of drug use.
- Listen. Listen to your child; encourage them to tell you what they think. Give your child time to complete his or her thoughts. Don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions about what your child is thinking or is worried about.
- Know your kids’ friends. Are the friends likely to try whatever is offered to them? Are they likely to be the one offering? It may not be your job to be their parent, but they will affect your child’s life.
- Don’t worry. Taking a firm stand against drug use will not damage your relationship with your child. A loving relationship is the reward of parenthood, not the purpose. Most children will be grateful that you are clear and honest with them. Moreover, many kids are looking for a good reason to avoid trying drugs, so it helps if they can explain, “My folks would kill me, if I did.”
- Don’t panic. If you learn that your child has begun experimenting, don’t be surprised. Although not all teens try drugs or alcohol, many do. As a parent, you need to be ready to address this early use, and try to prevent it from developing further. Click here for tips for parents on dealing with teens’ early experimentation.
Questions? Talk to an expert. Send a confidential email to the Phoenix House team today. Click here.