Phoenix House > Family Support > Intervening With a Teen
 
It's never easy to talk to someone about his or her problems, especially teens. Don't let a negative reaction keep you from trying. Just be prepared for it and concentrate on three simple goals:

 1) Bringing the issue out into the open

2) Letting your teen know you want to help and you're there for him or her.

3) Helping your teen to accept treatment. No matter how well-intentioned young people might be, most need some degree of professional support to kick an addiction.

Having the Talk

 Who:
  • Before talking to a teen, you may want to consult a professional about your concerns. Talk to a doctor, pediatrician, or other family members and friends. You could contact a school counselor, a teacher, a nurse, or someone in your place of worship.
  • Consider working with an intervention specialist. Professionally facilitated interventions can make it easier for family and friends to develop and implement an effective plan.
  • You can also consider inviting other people to participate in the intervention — particularly family and friends who may be affected by the user's behavior. However, the process doesn't require large numbers of participants — you can conduct a successful intervention with just a parent and child.
When:
  • Make sure the timing is right. Have the talk when your teen is sober and clear-headed, perhaps in the morning before school. You won't get anywhere talking to someone who is drunk, high, or coming down.
  • You can try talking to your child soon after you know he or she has been drinking or using drugs, and is feeling hung over and guilty. But remember, you're not addressing just one incident. You are concerned about a pattern of behavior.
Where:
  • Meet in a private place: your home, an interventionist's office, a friend's home or office, a place of worship, a coffee shop, park, or some other public place. Make sure alcohol is not available.
How:
  • Always use a gentle, caring tone of voice.
  • Try not to judge. Don't start out by making accusations. This will only put your son or daughter on the defensive and he or she might walk away.
  • Remind your teen that you love and care about him or her, but as a parent, it's your job to make sure your children grow up safely.
  • Explain how worried you are and how you feel when you see your child drunk or high. Express your concern and describe how these behaviors affect you and the rest of your family. It's good to provide specific examples of how alcohol or other drugs have changed your relationship or negatively affected his or her life.
  • Make clear that, because drugs are so dangerous, this problem deserves serious attention as well as professional help.
  • Once you've had the opportunity to share your concerns, be sure to listen to your teen's response. Try to show that you can see things from his or her perspective. If he or she brings up related problems, promise to address them separately, but try to steer the conversation back to the central issue of drug use.
  • Most important of all, be prepared with specific information on where they can get help. You may want to schedule an assessment in advance so that you can take them directly to a treatment facility or support group.

After the Talk

 Finding Treatment
 Once you've come to understand the extent of the problem, it's important to find the right treatment program. There are many types of treatment available, and the right program depends entirely on the circumstances and the degree of drug involvement. Visit our Get Help section to find out about Phoenix House programs in your community.

Talking Care of Yourself
 It's also important to deal with your own feelings about addiction. You may feel hurt, confused, and guilty; or worried that your teen will resent you or get in trouble because of you. Don't keep all those feelings locked up. Talk about them with close friends or family. Consider attending support groups.

Well Done
 Whether or not your child gets help because of the intervention, you should feel good about your decision to step in. An intervention is an opportunity for recovery. And if you ignore a drug problem, it may get worse.




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